Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Klaus "The Blue Phoenix" Klemenson

"But Mommy," you ask, "why does this gnome look different from all of the other gnomes?" Because this gnome is special. Very, very special. Klaus "The Blue Phoenix" Klemenson was reborn out of the scraps of old unwanted objects. He came into being through the hard work and love of a few very awesome Durhamites who wanted to make sure the gnomes of Durham found their place in the history of this great city. This Sunday, October 3rd, there will be a Community Portrait of Durham - an aerial photo of people and objects that will become part of Durham's history. Klaus will make his public debut at this special event. He would love for you to join him by wearing blue and showing up at Durham Central Park at noon. Bring your blue objects, games, picnic food, and musical instruments.

From the writers at - thank you, awesome Durhamites for putting this event together and for creating Klaus to be an ambassador of the gnomes of Durham.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Jorgen Jorgenson

Jorgen carries the light when the dark night has crept in. He looks after gnomes and humans alike, as they speed down the highway like arrows eagerly seeking their target – be it a department store open late or a sushi restaurant ready to please.

Jorgen is seen as a loving father figure by some, as a fierce guard against the terrors of the dark by others, and as a staple of the community by all.

Next time it is late and you are driving alone in Durham, know that Jorgen is out there somewhere, and he is looking out for you.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Durham Mourns

As I'm sure many of you have heard or seen by now, several of our beloved gnome friends have vanished. Theories regarding their disappearance are bountiful and varied: Some say they have been gnomenapped by local evildoers. Others suggest that their long thick beards and insulated hats have made Durham's sweltering summers entirely unbearable. Have they escaped to cooler climes? Perhaps Gnomania, Vietgnome, or the Gnominican Republic?

Regardless of what's befallen our short-statured friends, we miss them and wish they'd return. We find it hard to believe that any Durhamite could harbor ill will toward these peaceful, loving creatures who have brought such joy to this city.

In the days to come, we will continue profiling the gnomes we were lucky enough to photograph before their disappearance. Please continue to send word of new sightings. You may also share your memories of those gnomes no longer with us.

Monday, June 21, 2010

An Introduction to Ingmar the Impatient

It’s only June, and Ingmar can already be heard asking “Is it Christmas yet?” As his friends and family can attest, Ingmar has never been a patient gnome.

“I recall one time,” his mother begins, “when Ingmar was in line for his favorite treat at the candy store - caramel apples dipped in chocolate chips. The line wasn’t moving fast enough for my dear Ingmar, so the clever boy started farting his way to the front of the line. A fart here, and a fart there, and soon enough the line had cleared out, and Ingmar was there in the front of the line. When he wants something, waiting around for it isn’t an option.”

This time around it seems that instead of caramel apples, it’s Christmas that has Ingmar all fueled up. With the holiday still officially 6 months away, the rotund gnome has fashioned himself a suit to match St. Nick’s finest. With two presents in hand, it looks as though there is no stopping this gnome from declaring the Christmas season to have started early this year.

UPDATE: In the time between the writing (yesterday) and the posting (today) of this story, Ingmar has disappeared! More comments about disappearing gnomes to come in a future post.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Heinrich von Moneybottoms

Perched high above Durham's downtown, Heinrich von Moneybottoms represents the last of Durham's original building-dwelling gnomes. He unobtrusively made his first appearance nearly one year ago and has displayed remarkable patience while awaiting his Durham Gnomes debut.

Recently, we asked Heinrich from whence he draws this passivity and restraint. He lowered his head and humbly offered this explanation: "I once was like these younger gnomes, quick to jump on the latest bandwagon, drawn to the bling and the sparkle, ignorant of the consequences of my actions. In 1997, I was blinded by ambition and dreams of being the wealthiest gnome in America. Fortune Magazine became my Bible, and I threw all my wealth into a promising energy company called Enron. My accountants at Arthur Andersen assured me this was a sound investment."

Heinrich sighs before continuing: "Four years later, well... you know the rest of the story. Impatience and greed - they got me nowhere. I swore off investing forever and joined an ashram in the Himalayas. This is where I learned the value of patience, mindfulness, and detachment."

As Heinrich explains it, he is currently carrying out his penance, holding spiritual court over one of downtown Durham's financial centers, engaging in daily prayer and meditation as he observes the transactions taking place below. "If, by my presence, I am able to curb the materialistic desires of just one Durhamite, I will have done my duty."

In the spirit of steadfast self-flagellation, Heinrich retains the Moneybottoms surname as a reminder of his own weakness and tendency toward avarice. "I am still a gnome and only a gnome. I am flawed and powerless without daily [yoga] practice, fasting, and prayer."

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Thanks for the emails and comments

Just a quick shout-out to all of you who have been leaving comments on the blog, and emailing us with gnome sightings. Great to see so many other Durhamites enjoying the gnome phenomena!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Gerhardekimbrell Snow

Gerhardekimbrell Snow likes to watch, but not be seen. Perhaps it is not polite to speculate, but part of the shyness may be because of his uneasiness with his gender. He preps for his day every morning with a thick application of mascara, and a skillfully sculpted heart-shaped lipstick pucker. However, despite these feminine tendencies, he will not give up his long handsome beard. But who are we to judge as mere humans?

The story of this sighting is perhaps as interesting as the story of Gerhardekimbrell's morning routines. One of our loyal readers, Wyatt "The Gnome Hunter," caught sight of Gerhardekimbrell out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't get a good view of the gnome from his vantage point, so he put his hunting skills to work. He scaled fire escapes, ducked through windows, and leaped from rooftop to rooftop just to capture this rare photo of this super shy gnome. The effort paid off though. We thank you, Gnome Hunter, for bringing this photo to our readers.